The Manifesto Of Nothing In Particular

From: nobody.in.particular@tezcat.com
Date: Sat, 30 Sep 1995 13:07:44 -0500 (CDT)

National Nothing-In-Particular-Ism Primer
First Edition

	What is Nothing-In-Particular-Ism?

Nothing-In-Particular-Ism represents the most sound means of preserving
the biological future of no one or nothing in particular. First come,
first serve, essentially.

Nothing-In-Particular-Ism was evolved in twenty minutes after someone
read the National Socialism Primer and said "Oy" to herself.

It was first conceived in the morning, but then afternoon came around.

	What are Airheads?

Well, the movie was released sometime last year, so I'd recommend
you rent that. I'm told it's rather funny.

Airhead is the proper designation for all idiots.

	Why do you use Nuprin?

It's little. Yellow. Different.

	What is Blood And Soil?

Well, blood is the stuff that sustains your body by carrying nutrients
to each of your cells via the circulatory system. Soil is the really 
ground-up rock under your feet that things grow in.

By the way, that should be "What *are* Blood And Soil?"

	Aren't you nihilists without morality?

We're not nihilists. Just because we listen to NIN sometimes doesn't
mean we're nihilists. As for morality, well, um, no. We'd have to be
Something In Particular, which we're not, because this is Nothing-
In-Particularism, which you would KNOW if you remembered how to read.

	What are the Four Most Commonly Used Passwords?

Sex, love, money and god. Now, if Her Holiness would be so kind as to
change her password....

 	Why do you give the Vulcan salute?

Star Trek is cool. Live long and prosper.

 	Why do you worship Hitler?

Uh, we don't. Now quit trying to invoke Godwin.

	Why do you worship Godwin?

Oy.

	Why do you hate Keshia Knight-Pulliam?

Because Rudy was a *brat*.

	Why do you hate Raven-Simone?

Because she was worse.

	Why don't you believe in human rights?

We do, actually. And human lefts. And human middles. Actually, we believe
that humans should be able to enact inline align commands on their person
at all times, of their own free will.

	Why are you such male chauvinists?

We're bored.

	Just who do you consider 3L33T3?!

Well, if we told you, we'd have to kill you.

	Why do you hate Tempest Bledsoe?

Because I'm jealous, and I want a talk show too.

	Aren't you right-wing fascists?

We don't have wings. We're *people*. Get it right.

	Hasn't science proven you're full of it?

Yeah, your point? We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty.
I demand that I may or may not be Vroomfondel.

	Shouldn't we save the Earth first?

Put. The National Enquirer. Down. NOW. THE ALIENS ARE NOT ATTACKING.

	Aren't you tools of the Wealthy and Powerful?

Last I looked, I was not a chainsaw.
Or a strap-on.

	Will you dare try to legislate morality?

With WHAT political power?

	Who are these "World Manipulators?"

L.Ron Hubbard and Aleister Crowley. Oh, and the Knights Templar. Don't
you know. 

	What is "ZOG?"

A character in "B.C."

	What do you call your party?

Cyberdelia. I know you play the game. But you've got to stop letting your 
mother dress you, boy.

	What does Nothing-In-Particularism offer me, the average American?

Ummm......slurpees.

	How can I help?

CLEAN YOUR ROOM ALREADY.

	How can you be so insensitive as to post this to alt.usenet.
	manifestoes?

Because at least I *know* I'm being ridiculous.