Science Reveals a Sure-Fire Way to Fall in Love

"We can make people practically fall in love," says psychologist Arthur Aron, who is conducting these experiments at the University of California at Santa Cruz.

I pressed him for details, thinking of lonely singles who would give anything to know how to make someone almost fall in love with them.

Lab Test

Have them stare into each other's eyes for two minutes without talking. At intervals, bring in a researcher who says, "OK, tell the other person what you already like about him."

Aron's interest is purely scientific. He isn't in the matchmaking business, so those who are need not worry about competition.

His subjects leave through separate doors, so they will feel no pressure to get together on the outside. Nonetheless, the first two subjects got married six months later. They invited the entire research team to their wedding.

Aron, who has been studying love for 20 years and has become an authority, is excited by these experiments. No longer will he have to rely on people's fading memories of falling in love. They can be observed in the act, like rats in a maze.

How can people who meet under more normal circumstances -- if singles parties or being fixed up can be considered normal -- benefit from this research?

One implication is that if you want to get close to someone fast, you should reveal intimate things about yourself. Most people aren't willing to do this, especially not on a first date when they cling to safe subjects like a security blanket.

The Risk Factor

By talking intimately, his subjects risked being embarrassed, and risk is another factor in forging an immediate attraction.

The bigger the risk, the faster you become attracted. My friend Michael fell in love with his wife on their second date when he spun the car around on an icy road in front of a bus.

"We ended up in a ditch. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. It was a very dear moment," he recalled.

I am not suggesting going to these lengths. However, if the thought doesn't absolutely terrify you, you might consider a river rafting trip or scuba diving lessons. You can never tell whose hand you will end up with in a moment of panic.

Finally, it should be noted that the people in these experiments had been told that their lab mate was going to like them.

"That expectation had a huge effect," says Aron. "If you ask people about their experience of falling in love, over 90 percent will say that a major factor was discovering that the other person liked them."

'I Like You'

By the way, if you've always wanted to participate in scientific research, but would prefer not to be hooked up to electrodes, write to Aron about your experience falling in love for the second time.

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